Because of Emily
A Grief Blog Centered Around Stories of Love and Loss
Sharing Emily, One Story at a Time
Welcome to Because of Emily, a grief blog where love and loss intertwine. Here, I share stories of my love, Emily—her life, her legacy, and how she inspires me even after her death.
Emily had big dreams for the future, dreams to make the world a better place. While she only completed a small number of these goals, I believe that sharing my grief journey with others can help her continue to change the world, even in death.
I hope that sharing my story helps others recognize the complexities of grief and embrace life wholeheartedly, just the way Emily did.
"Live a Wholehearted Life"
These were the words Emily lived by from the moment she received a life-changing heart transplant on December 23, 2017 until she died almost five years later. She felt a profound calling to make the most of her life and maintain her donor’s legacy. Now, I am doing the same, keeping both Emily (and her donor) alive through the stories I share and the actions I take to make this world a better place.
Recent Reflections
Because We Were Blissfully Unaware
As I sat on the couch at my best friends' house this evening, watching one of them pack for an upcoming trip, I said two things that have stuck in my mind for the past few hours: "I can't believe Emily has been dead for two years now." "It feels like I've lived an...
Because Some Memories Can’t Be Erased
During my therapy session on Friday, I told my therapist I needed us to figure out "what the hell is wrong with me." I had a lengthy list of symptoms and emotions I have felt over the past two weeks, along with potential "causes." Of course, my therapist quickly...
Because She Made The Best Plus One
It has been a rough week. Monday was the two year anniversary of Emily and I's engagement, and we're officially in October. On top of that, today is a special event: one of Emily's closest friends is getting married, and the kids and I are attending the wedding. This...
Because I Was Patient
I am not normally a patient person. In fact, I'd say patience is one of those virtues God forgot to include in my personality when he made me. I struggle to hide surprises, I try hard to do all the things at once whether I can actually handle it or not, and I cringe...
Because I’m Angry
Tonight I'm finally back at my apartment after spending the past two weeks housesitting for a couple who have three dogs and two horses. And, of course, all of the clutter and crap that was here before I left is still lingering. I hate the fact that I live in a messy...
Because I Wept
Today, I wept. I smiled. I paced the corridors of the church as the gears inside my mind spun frantically. I sat in silence. I asked for guidance. I found clarity. It was never my fault. As most people know, I was there with Emily during, as far as I know, her...