I built a desk this evening. The directions said it would be best to build it with two people, but I’m home alone and always up for a challenge, so I decided to try it solo. Around 9:00 pm, I realized I never really ate dinner, so I decided to have half of an edible as a way to encourage my brain and body to eat. I continued building the desk, growing more frustrated nearly every step through the process until suddenly I found myself saying out loud, “I bet the directions say you need two people because they assume men are going to build it. Only takes one lesbian though, because we know when we’re screwing the right way!”

I laughed as I realized the edible had kicked in, wondering what Emily would think of my terrible attempt at a joke.

“It Wasn’t Me”

The first time Emily and I had edibles together, one of us was brand new to marijuana and the other knew it fairly well. Looking at the two of us, I think most people would assume that I was the experienced cannabis user who corrupted Emily. However, it was actually the other way around!

Although I definitely drank alcohol quite regularly in high school, I never tried anything else. At best, I attempted to smoke a friend’s clove cigarette once in the park, but I did it all wrong and fell out of the swing from coughing. Then in college I was too worried about my grades and my reputation as being responsible to even consider smoking a joint. Next thing you know, I’m a 33-year-old who has never “done the weed drug.”

Shortly after we started dating, Emily mentioned that recreational cannabis was legal in Illinois, and it was just a three-hour drive to the closest dispensary. I laughed and told her I’d never tried it and would have zero idea what I’d be like while high. Emily said it would be fun… And away we went! (See: Emily wore the pants… I need to write this.)

“The Three-Hour Tour”

Our first trip to Metropolis was quite the adventure. We drove up, “bought the goods,” ate at a delicious hole-in-the-wall bar, took a few pictures downtown (because Superman), then started to drive back. We had each purchased the legal limit of edibles for out-of-state shoppers. Emily insisted it would take far longer for edibles to kick in, so she suggested we each have a small portion (5mg) and see how long it would take and what impact a small amount would have. In hindsight, this may not have been a smart idea.

So we’re about halfway back to Nashville, and I feel very thirsty. I’m driving Emily nuts because I keep opening and closing my mouth, making this sound as I try to produce saliva, so we decide to stop at a gas station. I don’t remember who suggested it, but we end up parking as far away from lighting as possible and both getting in the backseat. Things got *spicy* and Emily used it as a strange opportunity to show off her freaky flexible moves. And the rest of that I’ll just leave up to your imagination, but I will say this was not the last time Emily suggested sex in a public place. (Sorry, not sorry, babe!)

Anyway, once things cooled down, we drove the rest of the way back. Around the time we got to the Tennessee state line, Emily decided she wanted to have more (I said I’d wait until we were back at her place). I remember us going back and forth between having what seemed like deep, philosophical conversations to laughing about absolute nonsense. (As you’d expect, this became fairly typical when we’d have edibles.) Eventually, we made it to her apartment. Three-hour tour (one way), complete!

“You Should See The Things We Do”

I won’t lie to you; getting high with Emily was almost always a hilarious time. I probably don’t even remember half of the things I should, but I do want to share a few choice memories I have of our “medicine times.”

Food: Emily would always come up with the most random things to eat when we were under the influence. She once made “the Cheez-It sandwich,” which consisted of a piece of cheese between two Cheez-Its. Another time, she got super fancy with the salmon burgers we had in the freezer and it was the most delicious thing I’ve ever had. She caramelized onions, toasted the buns with butter, made some sort of fancy garlic aioli, and I don’t even remember what else. But don’t get me started on the time I woke up with empty Doritos bags in the bed because Emily “got hungry” then fell asleep.

Giggles: I know Emily and I laughed a lot even when we were completely sober, but things got extra giggly when weed was involved. There were several instances of Emily just randomly licking me, like my nose when I’d go in for a kiss, or my elbow just because. She also loved to yank down my pants after telling me to get up and get her something, proudly declaring, “Ooooh, I see Babe’s butt!” while laughing. There was also the time my gummy took over an hour longer to kick in than Emily’s, and she was almost asleep when I just started giggling and couldn’t stop for a solid 30 minutes.

Grey’s Quotes: If you haven’t seen Season 14, Episode 20 of “Grey’s Anatomy,” you really need to. Although there are a few plot points, the majority of the episode is just a compilation of the different reactions each of the doctors have after eating “accidental weed cookies.” There are so many choice lines from that episode, and we would always end up saying a quote to each other at least a few times during our high. Emily’s go-to choices were almost always, “I don’t need my neck anymore,” and “I had a Jackson Avery once… but that’s not the same.” She also knew the entire “Cheese Monologue,” and would recite it while eating cheese.

Serious Discussions: Things weren’t always fun and games when edibles were involved. In fact, we had several serious, intimate conversations when intoxicated. I think sometimes just a bit of cannabis allowed Emily to be more open than she normally would. I learned a lot about her fears, her desires, and her hesitations. We sometimes had discussions about faith and spirituality, our beliefs on concepts like Karma and fate. I once even explained the Catholic belief about purgatory to Emily while we were high.

And sometimes the “seriousness” of the discussion wasn’t really serious, but rather more “deep thinking.” Like the time we determined what Enneagram type we thought each of the main characters on “Grey’s Anatomy” are. We’d also think through strange, highly unlikely hypothetical situations.

It’s Better Together

I do enjoy edibles. However, I do think it’s not as fun when you’re either doing it alone or the only one partaking. None of my friends are really into it, and once I finally found someone who enjoyed it as much as me… well, that ended.

It’s because of Emily that I tried weed to begin with. But now I so desperately wish she were still here with me.