Today my family gathered at my parents’ house for a Memorial Day cookout. It’s become somewhat of a tradition: my grandparents come down, my brothers and I (plus our families) all make the drive out there, and we just spend the day together.

Although I always appreciate this time with my family, the lack of Emily’s presence kept hitting me throughout the afternoon and evening. It’s funny, because she’d only been present at our Memorial Day cookouts for the past two years. But, then again, she just fit in so well with the unit that it often felt like she’d been a fixture at our family gatherings for my entire life.

I Picked The Square Pegs

Before Emily, my track record with romantic partners was less than stellar to say the least. I don’t think my parents liked a single person I dated in high school, especially not the one guy I dated for almost a year. Then I moved to college, met my now ex-husband, brought him home during Christmas break, and kept him for over a decade.

I don’t want to make accusations or say there was anything wrong with any of my past significant others. However, I will say this: none of them fit in with my family.

At first, I just assumed I was too worried about everyone getting along and that I was just overly sensitive to everything. However, as my brothers grew up and also started bringing people home, I quickly noticed that the interactions between my brothers’ partners and my family members looked very different than my own significant other’s conversations with the same people.

For years, I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but eventually I just decided that I always picked square pegs and my family must just be built differently.

And Then There Was Emily

My mom met Emily all the way back in 2019, but none of the rest of my family knew much about her until I brought her to the Memorial Day cookout in 2021. It was the first family function (and really the first gathering with people we knew) that Emily and I attended as a couple. We’d also only been dating for about a month. So, understandably, Emily was incredibly nervous. And, honestly, I was nervous too.

However, every bit of fear and anxiety I felt melted away within an hour of our arrival.

I don’t know what magic Emily possessed, but she fit right in with every single member of my family from the get go. She went bonkers over my mom’s plants and told her how much she loved them. She talked to my grandmother as they sewed patches on some overalls we’d picked up for the kids. She seemed to hit it off well with both of my brothers and their wives, and she even got a word or two out of my dad.

As we drove home that night, I remember Emily mentioning something about the day, and I just gushed and said, “Babe, I’m fairly certain everyone in my family loves you already.”

Just a Part of the Family

After that day, Emily pretty much became a part of the family. She got the regular treatment of birthday cards, presents, and invitations to all the things. Everyone loved her, and there seemed to be zero objections about our relationship or plans for the future.

Although I suppose these things are just what you do when someone in your family has a new partner, it didn’t feel like that was what anyone was doing. I could just tell by the way my family talked about Emily and interacted with her that they genuinely adored her. I was so glad to see this, because I had no intention of ever giving her up.

As I sat out on my parents’ patio this afternoon and talked with everyone, it just felt like something was off. Ultimately, I knew what it was — it was the fact that Emily wasn’t there. But, when the kids and I drove home, I saw her in the sky as it filled with shades of pink, purple, and blue (an Emily sunset as I call them now).

I’m not sure that any family gathering will ever feel the same for me now that Emily is gone. However, I’m thankful I got the chance to take her home with me multiple times during our relationship because she fit right in. And no matter how much time passes, Emily will always be my family.