This has been a wild weather week for all of us here in Tennessee. Most of us saw at least 5 inches of snow fall Sunday and Monday, but it hasn’t melted yet.

The last time I remember us getting this much snow was 2021 — a much different time in my life. However, one thing hasn’t changed over the past several years, and it’s the fact that snowfall makes me want to talk to Emily.

Christmas Day, 2020

I’ll never forget Christmas Day, 2020, just like most people in the greater Nashville area. But, before the bombing shut down AT&T internet and cell phone service across Middle Tennessee, I got to see some exciting pictures from Knoxville.

We didn’t really get much snow in Murfreesboro, but Knoxville was covered. Emily shared a sweet “Merry Christmas” text that included pictures of her parents’ yard, which made me completely jealous. It was a delightful White Christmas, and I wished I could have been there for it.

Snowpocalypse, 2021

Just a couple months after Christmas, Middle Tennessee saw its own fair share of snow. In fact, it was multiple days of snow, ice, and more snow that resulted in most of us to be stuck in our houses for nearly a week. (Sound familiar?)

Of course, neither Emily nor I were making any attempts to drive between Murfreesboro and Antioch, so we spent most of that week communicating over text and TikTok.

One of my favorite messages from this “snowpocalypse” was about Emily’s parking lot and the fact that it was taking everyone out.

Emily’s apartment at the time was nestled on a hill, with a major drop into the parking lot from the road. It was covered in ice, and Emily ended up falling on her ass at least once. However, she also watched neighbors, EMTs, and delivery drivers all wipe out as well, and she provided me with all the juicy details each time she witnessed another victim.

“Babe! It’s Snowing!”

The kids were with Emily and I from Christmas Day until New Year’s Day at the end of 2021. But, on January 2, Emily and I got an entire day to ourselves with no adult obligations. We were on the couch, enjoying some *substances* and watching television when Emily jumps up from the couch. “Babe!” she shouts, “It’s snowing!”

Next thing I know, I’m being dragged outside with no coat or shoes on, because we must go be in the snow right this minute. It’s like she thought the snow would vanish if we took even just a minute to properly clothe ourselves, and she wasn’t going to miss this moment.

Watching her stand there, catching snowflakes on her tongue while giggling the entire time, was one of the most liberating and hilarious moments of my life. It was the ultimate definition of fully embracing the moment (something we both typically struggle with), and I was silently cheering for her. This wasn’t just Emily being silly — this was Emily living life to the fullest, enjoying the fact that she was alive.

When I picture Emily now, this is often one of the memories of her that comes to mind.

Family Snow Day, 2022

It took an entire year for it to happen, but we finally got a family snow Day after Emily and I started dating and living together, in January 2022. School was cancelled, Emily got the day off work, and I took an hour off of work so we could all go out and play in the snow. It was amazing.

It took forever to get everyone bundled up since most Tennesseans don’t own snow gear, but we finally figured it out. We made snow angels, attacked each other with snowballs, and tried to make a snow man (it didn’t work).

The kids didn’t last too long, and soon wanted to go inside and use the hot chocolate balls we’d received from Emily’s parents for Christmas. Emily and I lasted a bit longer, but not much. And, because I’m me, I also snuck a kiss and photographed it.

Sledding & Burgers

The last snow memory I have with Emily is also from 2022, just much later. It was March, which is usually too late for snow in Tennessee. However, they were calling for snow in East Tennessee that weekend, which is exactly where we were heading.

As we drove to Knoxville after work that Friday, I remember us joking about how it wasn’t going to snow. In fact, even when we went to bed after “wine time” that night, the ground was still grassy. Yet the very next morning, we woke up to not just a dusting, but multiple inches of snow on the ground.

“Babe! We’re going sledding!”

I laughed and thought she was joking, but it’s Emily, so of course she was dead serious. So, we looked through the snow gear her parents had (we brought nothing) and put together enough items for us to wear. Then, her dad dug out the sleds, and out we went.

It was somewhat hilarious, because it took all of our momentum to get started down the hill. But then, one time I started down and ended up going fast enough that I couldn’t easily stop. I bumped into something in the yard, which changed the direction of my sled, and next thing I knew I crashed into the trees.

My boot got lodged in one of the trees, and I was laughing as I tried to free myself. Emily saw what had happened, and instantly started assuming the worst, that I’d completely broken my ankle and was crying. So she’s running down the hill, telling me to hold still, while I’m yelling back, “It’s fine, my foot is just stuck!” Finally, I take off the boot and free myself, and she says, “Oh! You scared me!”

Later that day, we braved the roads and went to Litton’s, where Emily captured one of my absolute favorite candid shots.

I’ll be completely honest: I’m missing Emily so much this week. Yes, life has been going well and I’m much more stable than I was just two months ago. But, at the same time, a part of me aches for her constantly, no matter what I have going on in my life. And, with the snow covering the street just outside my window and the kids being out of school this entire week, that ache has grown quite large.

I can only hope that somewhere up in heaven, my girl is smiling and wishing she could toss a snowball right at my face… Because we all know that’s exactly what she’d be doing every day this week if she were still here.