The Story Behind "Because of Emily"
Grief is complicated. It’s messy. It doesn’t follow rules or timelines. It can be raw and painful, overwhelming in its intensity. But it can also surprise us with moments of beauty and inspiration—like sunlight breaking through storm clouds. Grief is something every human being will experience at some point, yet it remains a topic we often tiptoe around, too afraid or uncomfortable to confront its depths. It leaves us feeling vulnerable, exposed, and sometimes completely alone. It’s something I’ve not only witnessed through others, but experienced myself when I lost my beloved partner, Emily Hardin, in 2022.
This blog is my attempt to break that silence and bring the reality of spousal loss into the light. It will not sugarcoat or simplify the experience but instead embrace the full spectrum of what it means to grieve deeply and love fiercely. I want to show that even in our darkest moments, there is room for connection, hope, and meaning.
At its core, this space is a tribute to Emily Hardin, my soulmate and greatest love, who died far too soon. Emily’s spirit is woven into every word I write, every story I share, and every piece of wisdom I uncover along the way. Through this blog, I aim to prove that even when someone leaves this Earth, they never truly leave us. Their love, their lessons, and their light continue to shape us, guide us, and inspire us to keep moving forward.
Everything I write here is because of Emily—because of the love we shared, the life we built, and the lessons she taught me, even in her absence. This is a journey of heartache and healing, vulnerability and resilience, and ultimately, of finding ways to honor those we’ve lost while continuing to live.
Who is Emily Hardin?
Emily Marie Hardin was born on July 10, 1996. Although she spent some time in the NICU early on, she was otherwise a seemingly healthy baby who grew into an incredible child and a talented adult. Yet, lurking beneath the surface was a congenital heart defect Emily didn’t know about until her junior year at MTSU. The discovery of this defect completely transformed Emily’s life.
In 2017, Emily underwent heart surgery twice. In May of that year, doctors repaired her congenital heart defect with great success. She received a clean bill of health and enjoyed several months of normalcy until she caught a cold early that fall. By October, Emily hadn’t recovered from her cold. In fact, she’d gotten much worse: she went into heart failure and was placed on the transplant list as she battled for her life nearly every single day.
Over six weeks later, in the early morning hours of December 23, Emily received a life-saving call. Thanks to a man named Victor’s selfless gift, Emily could live.
To say the heart transplant changed Emily’s life is an understatement. The “second chance” this transplant provided wasn’t lost on her at all. She felt a profound calling to make the most of her life and maintain her donor’s legacy.
Although she had to take a semester off to recover from the transplant procedure, she jumped back into school that summer and finished her bachelor’s degree in December 2018. That semester, she also completely choreographed and performed a dance solo in the Middle Tennessee Performing Arts Company’s winter showcase.
In 2022, Emily graduated from the University of Kentucky with a Master’s in Social Work. She used her degrees to help people throughout Middle Tennessee who live with mental illness. She facilitated training courses to better inform other mental health providers and community members about misunderstood conditions like eating disorders and PTSD. She also volunteered for organizations like the Crisis Text Line to help others continue living.
In addition to her social work endeavors, she did much about organ donation awareness. She shared her story at events and connected with other transplant recipients around Tennessee, many of whom became close friends, and she talked to them quite regularly.
Emily was an incredible aunt and stepmother. She just got engaged to her soulmate, Megan (that’s me), less than a month before she passed.
What Happened to Emily Hardin?
Emily started experiencing a series of confusing symptoms in late September 2022. Recurring flares of abdominal pain, nausea, and fatigue led her to visit her primary care physician, who couldn’t pinpoint an immediate cause. After discussing her symptoms with friends and family members, we believed her gallbladder was the source of the problem. She scheduled an ultrasound and appointment with her PCP for October 18.
However, we never made it to that appointment. Emily returned home from work on the evening of October 16 in a great deal of pain. This pain continued into Monday, at which point I finally convinced her to go to the emergency room. Initially, the team at the local ER agreed with our assessment: her gallbladder seemed inflamed and angry. Her bloodwork showed another potential problem, though, and we were loaded into an ambulance for Vanderbilt (where her cardiology team was).
During the early hours of October 19, Emily started having a series of episodes that looked like seizures. Unable to determine the cause, the doctors decided to move her down to the cardiac ICU so they could monitor her more closely. Unfortunately, we were in the room for less than 10 minutes before she had another episode. She never regained consciousness after that, and they pronounced her dead around 4:00 am on Wednesday, October 19, 2022.
After a full autopsy, doctors determined Emily was in rejection and dealing with cardiac allograft vasculopathy (CAV). They believe the issues with her heart caused seizures and other neurological issues. If she had survived, she would have needed a new heart and may have experienced cognitive defects. It wouldn’t have been the life she wanted.
The Reason for The Blog
Why I Created "Because of Emily"
1. I Want to Humanize and Normalize Grief
Grief is universal, yet it often feels isolating. Society rarely talks about the reality of loss—the heartbreak, the healing, and everything in between. I created this space to foster honest conversations about grief, offering comfort and connection to those who might feel alone in their struggles.
2. I Want to Keep Emily's Spirit Alive
Emily Hardin was more than my partner; she was my best friend, my compass, and my greatest source of inspiration. This blog is my way of keeping her memory alive—not just for me, but for anyone who wants to know her story. By sharing who she was and the love we shared, I can ensure her spirit continues to make the world a better place.
3. I Want My Pain to Serve a Purpose
Losing Emily was the most devastating experience of my life, but I believe that even the deepest pain can be transformed into something meaningful. By sharing my journey, I hope to help others navigate their own losses, feel less alone, and find strength in their pain. If my words can bring even a small measure of comfort or hope to someone else, then my pain will have served a purpose.