I can recall many things about my relationship with Emily, but there are some details that seem like a blur. For example, I know that one of the first things Emily and I bonded over was our love of Grey’s Anatomy… but I can’t remember the exact conversation that helped us discover our mutual love for the show.

I’m sure it either came up in DBT group or during one of our parking lot conversations back in the day, and I guess it doesn’t really matter when and where it happened. The point is, we both loved Grey’s, and it became a cornerstone in our relationship.

Grey’s Anatomy And Us

Throughout our friendship, Emily and I talked about Grey’s Anatomy a lot. At first, we texted each other after we watched each episode, and sometimes we’d even text during them if we both happened to catch it live. We’d complain about the stupid things characters like Owen Hunt would do, gush over the sexy doctors we liked, and make predictions about what was going to happen next. It was incredible.

As we moved into 2020, there were lots of weeks where Emily would come over for dinner and we’d watch Grey’s once I got the kids to bed. Sometimes this got us into trouble because Meredith would stomp out of her bedroom and tell us we needed to watch TV more quietly, and sometimes it just turned into us turning episodes into drinking games. But it was always fun.

When Emily ended up in the hospital for a few days in the fall of 2020, I brought my laptop and we watched old episodes of Grey’s to pass the time. We used Siri to pick a random number to determine the season, then another random number to determine the episode. Then we’d try to see who could recall what was going on before we watched it, which often resulted in us both remembering a few plot points and completely forgetting others.

As I have mentioned in a few other posts, we made a Grey’s reference the first time we kissed. We also joked about being a mix of some of our favorite Grey’s ships, primarily Calzona (which didn’t end well) and MerDer (which is low-key accurate since Emily died in the hospital and probably did need a head CT towards the end). Emily even once bought me a pair of scrubs so we could do a Grey’s roleplay, although we never really got around to it.

We often talked in “Grey’s code,” which meant we used a lot of references in our conversations. We’d shout about not being able to find our other shoe, we’d ask to be sedated, or we’d explain how we were mentally by saying, “I’m (insert character) when (insert plot).” I loved it, because she was one of the few people I knew who loved that show as much as me.

A Grey’s Style Ending

The week after Emily died, I made the comment to someone that I felt like Shonda Rhimes came and wrote the plot for my love story with Emily. It was almost too good to be true… And then she died, just like many of the Grey’s Anatomy characters we loved.

And really, those last few hours played out like a scene from Grey’s. She crashed out of nowhere. The doctors were stumped and running all kinds of tests. I refused to leave her side even though I was completely terrified. Then someone had to escort me out as they took extreme measures to save her life and I completely fell apart. It’s almost too much like the drama of the show to be real life… And yet it is.

What’s funny is she always joked that she’d die like Denny and someone would have to cut her LVAD wires. But instead, she just crashed like half the patients do during surgery at Grey-Sloan, and we still don’t know what happened.

A Grey’s Moment for My Trip

I’m writing this from a bed and breakfast in western Illinois as I’m on this sort of impromptu, mostly fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants road trip in the Midwest.

I planned to hit Iowa and Wisconsin this week, but with no specifics in mind. However, as I looked up route options with Google Maps, I realized something: I’m going to be less than 3 hours from Rochester, MN, which is where Mayo Clinic is based.

As soon as I discovered that, I instantly thought about the season of Grey’s where Christina Yang goes to Mayo Clinic. I thought about Emily and how much she loved anything medical related. And I thought about the fact that Minnesota is yet another state I need to check off.

As you have probably guessed, I’m changing my route a bit so I can hit Rochester and at least drive by Mayo. It might sound crazy to everyone, but I just can’t help but feel like I made the connection because she wanted me to. And if you know me even a little bit, then you know how hard I tried to make Emily feel loved and do anything she asked.

Emily and I bonded because of Grey’s Anatomy. So, it only seems fitting that I work in a Grey’s related stop into this trip.